Bicho and I: With HIV they want me "healthy": I prefer to be a monster

By Lucas Fauno Gutiérrez (script and text) and Jon Amarillo (illustrations) If “normality” demands a hygienic image from people with HIV. If a protocol is imposed on us for caring for others, a mandate to behave a certain way so as not to worry anyone. If they want to instill guilt in us. If they prefer to fear us instead of empathizing and…

July 5, 2018

By Lucas Fauno Gutiérrez (script and text) and Jon Amarillo (drawings)

If “normality” demands a hygienic image from people with HIV. If we are forced into a protocol for caring for others, a mandate to behave a certain way so as not to worry anyone. If they want to instill guilt in us. If they prefer to fear us instead of empathizing and becoming informed. If they wish to undermine the defenses of our identity to mold us according to that “normal” normativity. Then: I prefer to be a monster.

If normality distances me from myself just to appease society , I prefer myself abject and galloping.

Embracing my "monstery." As a child, I was taught to fear the monsters in the closet. Today I understand: the monster was me. The banging and noises were nothing more than my desire to no longer be locked away.

To be a monster in order not to be “normal.” To be myself. To understand my monster not as an offense but as pride. To constantly revisit that text that has become a mantra by the trans poet Susy Shock that roars: “I claim my right to be a monster… and for others to be normal.”

To be me. To be.

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