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Osvaldo Gómez and Jaime Díaz have been together for 18 years, and with María, a girl with a disability whom they adopted two years and three months ago, they chose to become a family. The couple met at the Faculty of Humanities of the Autonomous University of Entre Ríos (UADER) and embarked on their journey to parenthood a few years ago.

They live in Colonia Santa María, in the Federación department of Entre Ríos province, where they work in a rural school district. Jaime is the principal of School No. 21 “Belisario Roldán,” and Osvaldo is the principal of School No. 39 “Santos Vega.”

In a video call interview with Presentes, they answered questions about their love story and the adoption process. On the other side of the screen, they can be seen with María, sitting in her high chair, already playing while waiting for dinner.

 “In our experience and in our particular case, the situation wasn't as complex as we had heard. In other cases, families went through tedious bureaucratic processes with many barriers. Maria's adoption was processed in Family Court No. 2 of Concordia. We met her on a Friday, visited her on Saturday and Sunday, and on Monday we brought her home for the night, and she never returned to the residence where she was staying.”

A three-year process

The idea of ​​adopting began through Jaime's contact with the Children's Ombudsman and the Provincial Council for Children, Adolescents and Families (COPNAF), due to his work in the School Integration Support Service (SAIE).

 “During a conversation with the Public Defender of Chajarí, Dr. Silvia Ghiorzo told us about the existence of the Single Registry of Applicants for Guardianship for Adoption Purposes of Entre Ríos (RUAER) and that registration would open in the coming weeks. After that conversation, we discussed it with Osvaldo and decided to look for the form to register.”

In this regard, she explained: “The process began with a mandatory interview for all registered individuals. It was conducted in Villaguay, as it was generally done in that city. There, the RUAER team explained how they operate and the profiles of the children in the province, noting that there are fewer young children, and that those who are rarely adopted are older children, teenagers, sibling groups, and children with disabilities.”

Osvaldo added that through successive interviews, they changed their minds and analyzed the possibilities, ultimately deciding to register for a child with a disability. He also said that their case took three years, and that the process coincided with María's birth. "We had to overcome various circumstances to be able to choose each other and embrace each other tightly as we journeyed through this world."

Both agreed that they later received support from school authorities, especially the Departmental Directorate of Schools of Federación, since the leave policy was outdated and stated, for example, 60 days for the mother and 2 days for the father. They also indicated that it was a collaborative effort that allowed Jaime to take the 60 days and Osvaldo to use a different leave policy, subject to the existing regulations.

Article 594 of the Argentine Civil and Commercial Code defines adoption as a legal institution whose purpose is to protect the right of children and adolescents to live and develop in a family that provides them with the care necessary to satisfy their emotional and material needs, when these cannot be provided by their family of origin. Adoption is granted only by court order and establishes the adopted child as a son or daughter, in accordance with the provisions of this Code.

The rule, in its article 599, states that the people who can be adoptive parents are those who form a “marriage”, both members of a “cohabiting union” or a single person, requiring a difference of 16 years between the adoptee and the adopter.

Diversity within diversity

Diverse families are not only those made up of two fathers, two mothers, transgender people, or those with multiple parents. They also include diverse childhoods, those that listen, seek information, and support each other when their children, sometimes from a very young age, freely and openly express that their gender identities do not correspond to the sex assigned at birth. They are the families that embrace these unique experiences and support each other with love, acknowledging the need to be different from what the parameters of "normal life" dictate.

Between jokes and conversation, they took care of María, fed her, played games, and continued the interview. They described themselves as the first “openly gay” members of their families and noted that, like most, they had tried to hide or conceal their sexuality.

“Family is family: we are an egalitarian family that has decided to go through life together, the three of us, always trying to ensure that María can develop her full potential. Family is those who love you, care for you, and protect you, and that bond doesn't necessarily have to be biological. The heterosexual family is a Western and Christian social construct and has conditions of imposition. Here, we try to escape all of that,” says Jaime.

Greta Pena, a lawyer, lesbian feminist activist, and deputy director of the National Disability Agency, explained to Presentes why disability is socially perceived as a factor that prevents children and adolescents from being adopted: “ The stigma and prejudices against people with disabilities extend to children eligible for adoption. Generally, it's about associating disability with a negative value, but also with fears and ignorance. Children with disabilities can lead full, autonomous, and independent lives as adults. It's true that obstacles exist, but raising any child always involves barriers, complications, questions, and difficulties.”

For her, LGBTQ+ families have challenged situations imposed on the “traditional family,” such as the lack of democracy in relationships, the dismantling of imposed roles, and also prioritizing desire and love over prejudice. Furthermore, Pena explained that these factors lead a significant proportion of couples with two mothers or two fathers, or with a transgender member, to adopt children with disabilities.

When asked about the prejudices they have faced, Jaime said that at times they have had a difficult time due to biased thinking influenced by religious beliefs. He also mentioned that there is a complaint filed with INADI (National Institute Against Discrimination, Xenophobia and Racism) that is still pending, but he remained optimistic and expressed gratitude for the struggle that has brought about societal change: “There have been changes, although in everyday life things aren't as straightforward as the rhetoric suggests; I think we can all agree on that.”

Diversity once again overflows the boundaries of definition when María joins the interview. Laughter fills the air as the conversation flows, expressions shared with the hope of sustaining the flow of dialogue to its conclusion. On the other side of the screen, one can see the emotion that overwhelms them, because their meeting was the answer and escape of a love without definitions, beyond those they desire and construct.